One80
Testimonies from all over. Be inspired by stories of Christian transformation from around the world. Hear miraculous coming-to-Jesus stories from all walks of life and be amazed at how God writes a story in all of us. And stay for the Sendoff, where we feature an artist’s take on each testimony shared. One80 is a production of OneWay Ministries.
One80
Episode 69: John Boyle, "Amount to Nothing" to Harvard Business School (PTSD)
John Boyle’s young life was filled with abuse and hardship, though he was raised in idyllic West Virginia, heart of Appalachia country. Living this double life that was a secret to his tight knit community caused John to develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD. School became difficult and more than one teacher said he would amount to nothing.
According to John, "This is all I'd ever heard. My grades were deplorable. I was living a battle in my own head in school. I came from a home where violence was the norm. So that norm didn't shut off in my head. It became an echo chamber. My brain began to spiral these thoughts.
And when you're living in a home like that, you're not going to get mental help. You're not going to the doctor. You're not getting care. It was just pure survival. It was just another day. It was not out of line of what I was told at home or told by other teachers."
And later, John turned to alcohol to mask PTSD symptoms.
In his mid 30s, the doctor told John he was dying from the inside out with full-blown alcoholism. Even that couldn’t stop him from drinking. John was finally to the end of himself, where Jesus tends to do his best work. A desperate prayer was answered and John got clean. Just a month later, he enrolled in Harvard Business School. The rest, as they say, is history.
John is now a CEO of an engineering firm, author of the book, "The Appalachian Kid," national speaker, and White House guest.
Today's Sendoff features Mo Thompson reading, "I Met the Master."
Helpful links:
John's book, The Appalachian Kid: How Hope Changed Everything
What's that music? The Hunts, find them here.
What is PTSD?
Get help for PTSD
Alcoholics Anonymous
Teen Challenge treatment for alcoholism
Harvard Business School
John Boyle on LinkedIn
Chestnut Ridge Church, Morgantown, WV
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OneWay Ministries
One80 Podcast Transcript
Episode 69: John Boyle
"Amount to Nothing" to Harvard Business School
This is a transcript that may have errors that veer from the original audio, found here: https://one80podcast.com/listen/
Margaret Ereneta: How does a guy go from the middle of Appalachia with no hope? Being told he would amount to nothing. Drowning out sorrow in bars. Knowing alcohol would literally kill him. To a Harvard business school CEO. Well folks, plain and simple.
Jesus Christ. Welcome to the Appalachia kid. John Boyle's One80.
Ryan Henry: Welcome to today's One80. Hello, everybody. We have an amazing guest today. His name is John Boyle, and he is the author of Appalachian Kid, and his story is literally going to blow your mind. So we're excited to get started. John, welcome to the show.
John Boyle: Thank you for having me, Ryan. I'm excited.
Ryan Henry: I'm excited to hear your story. Let's jump into our random question. first of all, are you ready?
John Boyle: sir.
Ryan Henry: Okay. Random question. What topic can you bring up at a family gathering to instantly get everybody riled up?
John Boyle: Hmm that's a good question.
Ryan Henry: Ha ha
John Boyle: to get my family riled up, to tell a story, Uh, that happened in the past, but embellish it a bit, And, make it colorful, In a way that, has some plausible deniability, but, actually gets everybody smiling and it's always good to do in front of guests because it gets them laughing as well, right?
Everyone makes mistakes,
Ryan Henry: I love that.
John Boyle: Yeah, but it's hard. for people to make light of them in a formal setting.
Ryan Henry: Yes. That's awesome. I love that. So John, let's jump into your story and we love to let our listeners hear about, you know, life growing up. So if we can go back to the very, very beginning, talk to us where you grew up and what life was like.
John Boyle: Sure. I grew up in Kingwood, West Virginia. Uh, it's a mountain town where the states of West Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania converge. I grew up in a farming community. and there were, there was an awful lot of, coal mining and really those were the economic drivers where I grew up, John, you call yourself the Appalachia kid. so can you talk to us about growing up in Appalachia?
The Appalachian mountain range, stretches from Georgia, Northern Georgia. And when it gets to West Virginia, it encompasses the entire state. And it goes on, to New Hampshire and Maine, but Appalachia, we're the only state that's entirely within the bounds of the Appalachian mountain range.
West Virginia for sure is the heart of Appalachia. and to grow up in West Virginia, it's a very poor place. Economic opportunity is lacking there, but you'll find the best, most wonderful people in the world, kind hearted. They would give you the shirt off their back, even if they meant they wouldn't have one themselves.
they're awesome people and to grow up in that, that area, uh, was a real blessing and to have my best friends from, grade school that, that are still in my life, that speaks to that testament.
I grew up Catholic and, uh, the home I grew up in was full of violence and it was very difficult for me to navigate as a kid.
Ryan Henry: Hmm. I'm so sorry to hear that. So you grew up in a Catholic family, but the home was still filled with violence. How did that affect you?
John Boyle: Well, you know, as a kid, I will say that I didn't really know the difference. I was just growing up. I was dealing with my circumstances as they came and I did my best, right? As I think most kids do, but as I grew older, Ryan, I began to realize the differences in my home versus my friends versus others.
And, I, I began to have more and more difficulty internally and personally in nature. And so as, my personal difficulties increased, I began to really tune out religion. I went through the motions, I went to church on Sundays, I participated with my family, but, I was having a hard time, understanding the parallel with, why religion was important, and why I needed to follow God, and then this parallel universe I was living in at home, where I had extreme difficulty, and really Ryan, no one stepped in, to my defense.
So that was very hard to understand. And as I got older and I saw my younger siblings begin to experience that behavior, from our caregivers, uh, it, it really bifurcated my, want internally to pursue the Lord, you know, just being frank with you.
Ryan Henry: Yeah. No, I appreciate your honesty. are we talking like, uh, mostly verbal abuse, physical abuse, or you just kind of, you don't have to share any details you don't want to, but I'm just kind of curious.
John Boyle: Yes. Verbal. Yes. Yelling. Yes. but mainly what I'm talking about is physical violence, on a routine basis. And it, went from my earliest memory, Ryan, until, uh, 14 or 15 years old, somewhere in there.
Ryan Henry: Gosh. I'm so sorry to hear that. In that time, what was your personal view of God? If there was a, a view of God?
John Boyle: would say it was good. my experiences in church, uh, the friends that I met in Sunday school, the church events I went to, priests and nuns who interacted with my family on a regular basis. All of those interactions were good, Ryan. My opinion of God was good. Uh, his domain was sovereign to me, even at a young age.
AndI've never really stopped believing. I just stopped participating for a portion of my life. I don't know that I could have pinpointed this at an earlier age, but for me to look back and sum it up, it felt like there was a deviation between, uh, those who were meant to go to church and live a godly life and those who were not.
And I believed at a young age and even as a young adult. that I was chosen for the latter.
Ryan Henry: Hmm. Gosh, that's a hard thing to let creep in that mindset.
John Boyle: was there any particular, um, situation that you can recall?
Well, there were several. There were instances of, abuse in my home where, where there were teachers that knew, where there were neighbors that knew, where there were, a myriad of family members who knew.
And really there was only one person, my aunt. who would speak up and verbally defend me and tell my parents that my treatment wasn't correct. my father was not physically abusive to me, my mother was, and I had three younger sisters, and I just always felt not wanted, I felt blemished, and as my
treatment, stayed in, I would just say the gutter, for lack of a better word, deplorable in nature, as, that continued, my cognitive, abilities, my, self love, my general demeanor, my ability to remember things and recant things, I basically switched to survival mode by about third or fourth grade.
And I really didn't see the fallacy of it, the true fallacy until I had a three or four year old myself, when I started remembering that treatment and then when my oldest son got the fourth and fifth grade, the flashbacks would just come in like a flood, like, you know, look at the difference between our home and the home that I grew up in.
And so to put things in a nutshell for you. I almost failed sixth grade. I remember in one instance, now I was present for this, there was a parent teacher conference. And my parents were in there and my sixth grade teacher looked at my parents and she said there's no way this kid will ever make it to college, much less graduate,
Ryan Henry: My goodness. I can't even imagine saying those words.
John Boyle: Right. and I, I want to say this on your show and I don't exactly know when to say it, but Ryan, it's important for your listeners to know that I am no victim. I had an experience as a child that children aren't meant to go through. I survived that. And I do not see myself as a victim.
I see myself as an advocate. I want to be, someone that, a child looks at or someone who's going through difficulty as an adult who had a difficult, you know, upbringing. And I, I want them to say, okay, I can do this. Right. I can get through this. And so, I don't look at these, experiences as the end all be all, but, they were certainly tough to live.
Ryan Henry: Yeah, no, I, I definitely appreciate that.
if we can go back that moment when we know you heard those words, how you would never amount to anything, you know, not be able to graduate. obviously we could probably imagine how you felt, but could you describe that for us?
Did you disagree with them?
John Boyle: no, I didn't disagree. This is all I've ever
heard.
my grades were deplorable. I was living a battle in my own head in school, I came from a home where violence was the norm. So that norm, didn't shut off in my head. It became an echo chamber. My brain, began to spiral these thoughts.
And when you're living in a home like that, you're not going to get mental help. You're not going to the doctor. you're not getting care. And so it was just pure survival. It was just another day. It was not out of line of what I was told at home or told by other teachers.
I was cast as lazy as a daydreamer. I can promise you, Ryan, I am not a lazy person. But that was the impression that people got because they didn't get to know me. No one ever asked what was going on at home. And so there was no way of them knowing either. It's hard for me to cast blame on them.
They weren't responsible for what happened at home. They were just reacting to what they saw at school, I could not focus. I could not remember. I really just couldn't function.
Ryan Henry: Right. Gosh. was there a point where you hit an all time low, or even started to experiencing problems with sin, especially with all the brokenness, and I'm sure it would start to work its way out in a negative way.
John Boyle: Yeah. So let me, just bridge over part of my life briefly. my first lifeline, came at 15 and I went away to a boarding school in neighboring Pennsylvania and there were many mentors. that the Lord sent and put in my path and they were very good people and they helped me get up on my feet and they prepared me for college.
I would say the life lows began when I got to college as a freshman. Uh, I was prepared. I was a hard worker. However, I was emotionally in the abyss, the thoughts that I had, the feelings that I had, now mind you, Ryan, I had PTSD by this time and it was diagnosed until I was 37.
And so I knew I had these symptoms going on. in my life, flashbacks, dysphoric feelings. Uh, the biggest part of my life, difficulty at that time was insomnia. there were many, many more and I don't want to just belabor the point, but I wasn't myself and I didn't want others to see that I was a broken person.
So what I found was, going to your sin question, what I found was alcohol covered up my symptoms. And so working before my freshman year in college. I started drinking in the evening to cover up the flashbacks that I would have while going home to my own home. you know, really once college started, I, continued that behavior on.
I just amped up the amount of intake that I had because I didn't have to worry about coming home to my parents. And so, By my fourth day of college, I was arrested for driving drunk. And, that was not the only low point that I've had in my life. My battle with alcohol addiction went on for another 19 years. And it was one that really I say in my book I believed at that time that I needed it to function. And it's the only thing that I found at that time that allowed me to.
Ryan Henry: Now, in that time, were you aware of God? Was God something you were thinking about?
John Boyle: yes, I was aware of God for sure. and I will say that every night when I drank beyond what I should have, I knew every night that I didn't want to be there doing it every night, every single night. And so I knew God was real. I believed in him. but I just didn't practice. I didn't go to church on Sundays.
I would pray, you know, if something big was going on in my life, I would participate in Christian endeavors like food drives and helping others. But really, I felt ostracized. I felt like I didn't fit in. I really did. And it wasn't anything that a Christian church did, or it was just. What I was dealing with internally and they were remnants of an abusive home.
Ryan Henry: right. so, you said, was it four days into college is when you were arrested for driving drunk? Okay.
So, so take us to, to that experience what happened from there?
John Boyle: Well, In college, I didn't drink every day. So after I got in trouble, that was in the mid 1990s, and the ramifications for those actions were different than they are now. I did community service, it did not exude the person that I wanted to be. it was very embarrassing to have your name in the paper.
it was like I was starting over from scratch and my reputation was ruined and I had to Build it back. And so I tried to be better. I tried to be perfect. we all know how that goes, right? But, it ebbed and flowed. I had good semesters. I had bad semesters. And a lot of my difficulty was driven by.
the amount of, symptoms from PTSD that I was dealing with at any given time. They do come and they do go and there, there's not an explanation to it.
Ryan Henry: Where would you say the sin of, this drinking, really reached its peak?
John Boyle: I would say it reached its peak, in my mid thirties. By 34 or 35, when I drank, I stopped having euphoria. It was, I had to have it because my body craved it. At that point in time, it stopped being fun. At that point in time, it began being a habit. And while I had this long history with alcohol, I don't know that I was quote unquote addicted, like I couldn't take a day off. But really in my 30s, I didn't. And, I fully believe I drank 10 years in a row every day. So, it takes a toll on your body
quick.
Ryan Henry: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I have to ask you in the 10 years, did you feel like God, had sent you any reminders or just, you know, lifelines? Like, you know, you mentioned like the people at the boarding school, did you ever feel like he was trying to draw you?
John Boyle: it started with placing Christian men and women in the ranks of the company that I was overseeing. So when I was in my late twenties, my father had a heart attack and was diagnosed with cancer and really left the company. it was a family business and he was the one who was in charge. And so he called me up to the hospital one day and he said, this is what's going on and good luck. And so really I was working and I was the president of a family business that was rather large. And as we grew, God kept sending, Christian people in my path. And they would say every once in a while, well, you need to come try this church. Or, could we pray before this bid that we're turning in?
I would participate, I didn't go to church, but, you know, I donated money to church. I helped churches.I was, I think, respectful to God, but not participatory at all. ultimately I received a lifeline at 37 to save my life.
Ryan Henry: Okay. Let's talk about that. What happened?
John Boyle: Sure. So, I went to my family doctor and I was as white as my shirt. My skin was, and I asked what was wrong. I said, there's something wrong. I don't know what's wrong.
we got to my skin and why it's so white. And he said, well, we need to take some blood and we need to take a look at you and came back and he said, your liver is failing 37. I've got a seven year old son at this point.
I'm divorced. he's all I have. I'm drinking every day. I'm running a company and, basically I started to realize in my own head that I had to quit and I had to quit soon. And so I was going home with the notion from work that I wasn't going to drink tonight. Tonight's going to be the night. Well, I wouldn't make it. an hour. without picking up a drink. And I was shaking, sweating. Uh, it was bad. And so I just said, heck with this. I'm just going to go down in flames.
And so I was out in a bar one night and, uh, a friend of mine I'd grown up with, uh, had went to the bar with me. he could tell I wasn't doing well and he asked me, you know, what's wrong, what's going on. And I said, well, I, I'm just at wit's end here. And he invited me to church at midnight on a Saturday night.
Ryan Henry: Hmm.
John Boyle: He invited me to church in a loud bar and I was drunk. And that's when it hit me that God loved me so much that he would infiltrate my drinking buddies to get to me and give me chances to get out of my predicament. I didn't ask for it. I wasn't expecting it. And I certainly didn't think it would happen. So that all came to mind in a few seconds, really. And I looked at my friend, Pat, and I said, what time? And I went to church,
Ryan Henry: hmm,
John Boyle: I went to church, reeking of alcohol, hung over, and I was just blown away by the peace that existed in the room. It was Chestnut Ridge church in Morgantown, West Virginia. And I believe it was somewhere in February of 2014, little over 10 years ago.
Ryan Henry: Wow. What happened?
John Boyle: Well. I went back to church the next Sunday and obviously I was hooked on alcohol and that hadn't gone away. So as I went to church and continued to go to church, there's a pastor there by the name of Tim Herring and it's like every Sunday when I went into church, Ryan, he was speaking right to me.
Right. And so I began to have this tug of war internally that, was saying, Hey, you know, look at this way of living, and then look at what you're doing. And I can't straddle the fence here and my liver's shutting down. What do I do? And so I began to come to terms with the fact that I needed to go away to get help. And by that time I was so sick, Ryan, that I left four days before my son's eighth birthday.
The only person in my life at that point. I thought I was going to die if I stayed four more days in Morgantown, West Virginia before I went away and got help. That's the truth.
Ryan Henry: my gosh. Wow. That must've been so hard to do that.
John Boyle: For sure.
Ryan Henry: so where did you go and, and you know, what happened? Did you get the help that you needed? Obviously you're
here.
John Boyle: Yeah. So, really the night before I left, I prayed and I told you, I wasn't a big prayer.
and I said, God, I promise I'm done with this. I'm signed up and I'm going away tomorrow and I'm done. And I just asked, Not that he'd take all the difficulties away, but just take the urges for me to drink, alcohol away.
Take them away.
And the next day when I flew to Florida, which is where I went for 30 days, by the time I got off the plane, I was shaking terribly. And that was like 1130 in the morning.I was you know, diagnosed in the rehab facility for having PTSD, for having alcohol use disorder. I was given a tranquilizer to help me detox and I went to bed. I just went to bed like five o'clock that afternoon, went to bed, woke up the next day
And that's the last day I ever, ever had a drink, that I ever suffered like that. and I can tell you, God answered my prayer. I've never had the urge to drink alcohol again.
Once I went away and once I got help and once I asked for the Lord to take those urges away, I never had those urges again to drink.
Ryan Henry: To go from having it every day.
John Boyle: 10 years straight.
Ryan Henry: Wow. That's amazing. cause I, you hear stories of withdrawal and what people go through and just how horrible it is, you know? and just like that, those urges were taken away. That's awesome. Now I don't know if this was a Christian rehab or anything, but was there a biblical truth or some type of experience that you had with the Lord around that time?
John Boyle: Yes. Excellent question, Ryan. So when you're on a tranquilizer, you're not allowed to leave a facility because they have to monitor you. They're very dangerous. And when we got to Sunday, well, I couldn't go to church. And I remember my church that I'd started going to, they filmed their, sermons.
What I found was, Ryan, that they had a library of past sermons.
Ryan Henry: Wow.
John Boyle: and I, I had picked up the Bible and I'd started trying to read it. I hadn't read the Bible in my life and I couldn't focus on it because I was on a tranquilizer, but I could listen,
And so, my walk with Christ, my understanding of Jesus, going back to your whole relationship question, that relationship started right there, And, the pastor Tim Herring from Chestnut Ridge, it was just like he kept preaching to me and I just kept listening.
And I would do that every night, I became a junkie. I would just listen and be
like. Wow, this, this is peaceful and I'm doing it all wrong. And, it's not hard. It's easier. And what was I thinking? What was I doing?
It's time to change. And change Idid.
Ryan Henry: Yeah, Wow, that's amazing.
So through those sermons, was there anything you know about the Lord that really started to stand out to you?
John Boyle: So many, right? I used to hear Romans 8 28. all things are meant for good for those who love the Lord, who are called according to their purpose. For those of your listeners who don't know what that verse is. And growing up in the home, I did, I'll be quite frank with you. I had a hard time understanding that one.
But when you see what the Lord has done with the difficulty that I've had in my life. And the strife that was brought on me, he's used it for good, Ryan. His promises come true.
That doesn't mean I wasn't upset with him at some points in my life, but that's the truth. found in Matthew nine., very simply you can't put new wine and old wine skins.
Right? So just something as simple as that. I needed to become a new person and the person that God wanted me to be. Jeremiah 29, 11 just spoke to me,
Ryan Henry: Mm.
John Boyle: for you, says the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope in the future, think about the words of that verse and sitting in a rehab.
there's nothing to do there, but to look up, right? Because you're just dealing with addiction and you're trying to get to the next day. And so all of God's word, all of the words that I heard on the sermons. And when I eventually got to being able to read the Bible, and I still do as frequently as possible,
his truth spoke to me.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Deuteronomy 31, 8, I will go before you always. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. When you start telling yourself those promises, you look at your world
differently. Uh, it says in Hebrews 11, that, that faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.
So there's a lot of verses that play together. And when you believe and you, read the word of God and you remind him of your promises. Good things happen.
Ryan Henry: uh, it just reminds me about, you know, how, all the words that you had heard growing up that, really shut you down and spoke negatively of your future. It's almost like in the mercy and the kindness of the Lord, he's replacing all those words with his word.
Yeah.
John Boyle: Amen.
Ryan Henry: I just love that. I just think that's so cool and it's so like God to take what the enemy meant for evil and those things and all of a sudden start replacing them with his word and his promises. So did you have a moment of submission where you were like, God, I'm in, I'm saying yes to Jesus.
John Boyle: there was, but my night of coming to Jesus, my night of surrender was the night before I left for rehab. It was, the last day of March in 2014. And that was at the point where, look, I was going to change my life, Ryan, or I was going to die.
I was diagnosed that I would not live continuing my life the way it was. And I could not get there on my own. And that, that is hope. It really is. That gave me hope. And when those urges were taken away the next day, it's like, okay, you are real. You do love me.
You do want me.
Ryan Henry: And, I'm here. I'm going to do what I can and I'm going to move forward in the best way I can. And it hasn't been perfect. It hasn't been easy, but that's okay. I'm now fighting the good fight of faith. yeah, yeah. So, after you come to the Lord, what started to change? obviously we heard about, you know, losing the urges, but what else did you start to notice in
John Boyle: Well, I believe the, the lenses changed on how I viewed my own life. And really that is what my book is about. How, hope changed the lenses on how I viewed my own life. And so really the changes started subtly. I began to have more peace. different people were put in my path.
I began to see my circumstances for what they were in working in a family business. And so I just started to change the areas of my life that weren't fruitful. And that was hard. I ran a family business and that family business had 600 plus employees when I left. And I had worked there my whole life, right? I had been the CEO for around 10 years,
Ryan Henry: Mm-Hmm.
John Boyle: that was my dream as a child to run that company and to leave it for my own peace and wellbeing and that of my family, which really was my son at that point. was a huge move.
And so what I'm trying to tell you is it gave me the internal strength and fortitude to make the decisions I wasn't making. You know, the Lord has told me many, many years later, and as, as soon as a month ago I took you out of those circumstances. They were poisoned for you. And I don't say that to talk badly about the people on the other end. I wish them well and I pray for them. And this, book and this conversation's not about that.
It's about what God's grace has done for me it has been all encompassing in every part of my life. In every way you can imagine. He sent me Simon, after Simon. He's given me wonderful mentors, godsend,
and all of them have changed my life. Just a little bit, but when you add them all together, it has fully changed the trajectory of my life and has all come from the Lord.
Ryan Henry: Wow. Yes, that's amazing. Thank you, God. talk to us about Harvard Business School. Now, when did that come in the picture?
John Boyle: So, in my early thirties, I joined a group called YPO, which stands for the Young Presidents Organization. And I used to go to meetings put on to further my education because my education was in engineering, not in business. So, uh, I joined a group called YPO, which stands for the Young PresidentsAnd after I quit drinking, I was on a beach, somewhere in the Caribbean. I don't remember where,
And there was a speaker who had spoken that morning and his name was David V Johnson.
Ryan Henry: Wow.
John Boyle: On the beach in a wheelchair.
Now, I don't know if you've seen that happen before. I hadn't.God sent a guy in a wheelchair on a beach and he asked me, well, what's your story?
And I told him and he looks at me and he says, Have you ever thought about going to Harvard Business School? And literally, Ryan, I busted out laughing at him. I said, man, there's no way, you know, I almost failed sixth grade and, and I didn't tell you this, but I almost failed 10th. So David V. Johnson, there's no way Harvard's letting me in. and he said, this is a pretty place, isn't it? And I said, yeah, it is. He said, do you like this island? I said, yeah, absolutely. And he said, it's my island and I'm giving you a piece of advice and I'd like you to take it.
Ryan Henry: My gosh.
John Boyle: And he said, And when you fill out the application, you put my name at the bottom. My name is David V. Johnson. I've never seen him before and I've never seen him after that day. So I applied, I actually forgotten. I applied and I got an email one day that I'd been accepted.
And then I was like Rocky Balboa who had just beat Apollo and Rocky two. Right. I'm holding my hands up in the air, running around
Ryan Henry: Oh my gosh.
John Boyle: Right. it was a wonderful education for me. And, it's just one of the many ways that the Lord has blessed me
Ryan Henry: Wow. That's incredible. Could you talk to us about how God took care of the PTSD?
John Boyle: Hmm. Well, that has been a ongoing battle that is not resolved.
I try to explain this a little bit because it's been my, uh, my experience the last 10 years. When you talk about PTSD, that the vast majority of people, basically see the acronym as, as something that soldiers deal with, and they don't know that there are just as many people or more who have PTSD from violence, from sexual abuse, from neglect.
And in particular, Ryan, when it happens to a child, what happens is it changes the architecture of the developing brain. So when a child is subjected to, very intense trauma, violence, And things like that. they have to make sense of a world that doesn't make sense. And so it changes your neuropathways, your sensory pathways.
And it changes the way that your primitive brain interacts with your cognitive brain. And so it's called a disorder of reactions because your primitive brain reacts Your fight or flight kicks in before your cognitive brain can ever apply reason to it.
And so, there are certain things that happen in my life.
I'll give you an example. If my wife or my children come up behind me and they want to give me a hug or a kiss, I respond with a flinch. Still to this day,47 years old.
Ryan Henry: Mm hmm.
John Boyle: And the last time I was hit, you know, in my home, I grew up and was at 14 or 15. So it just goes to show you some of those reactions don't go away, but God gives you the grace and he equips you to deal with what's on your plate.
And some days are hard; some days are not. But there are triggers that occur in my life that it might be a smell. It might be the tone of someone's voice. might be a clip of violence on a movie. Those are things that trigger me. And so it's very hard. of course with God, all things are possible.
So it's hard for me to say that, but it's, been very, very hard for me to turn that off and I have no control over it, but what I do have is control of my actions after they occur.
If I can recognize that I'm triggered. if I can go get help on a regular basis, if I can share what's going on in my life with those around me, it does aid in my predicament. the Lord has blessed me with provision. The Lord has blessed me with awesome people who have really shadowed me and guided me and helped me and protected me, through my journey. And
I'm not expecting that God takes this away. There were disciples that dealt with difficulties that Jesus didn't cure.
And I think when people look at someone like me and they say, okay,
he's got a complex form of PTSD. He almost killed himself with alcohol and he was able to, by the grace of God, turn things around and he loves the Lord and wants to make the rest of his life one that has kingdom impact. I think that speaks more volumes than just the PTSD being taken away,
And these are things I've grown to understand and learn.
Ryan Henry: Yeah. Wow. That's so powerful. it's a, it's a different outlook on a, the ending of, the fact that it's a still a present thing, but you're working through it, and just the grace and the mercy of the God to help you through that just speaks volumes.
John, this has been so great having you share your story for our last question. I would love to hear what you would say to other young people who might be told by their teacher that they will never amount to anything.
John Boyle: people don't control your destiny. God does.
Ryan Henry: Amen.
John Boyle: I have talked to many young people who have been going through violence in their homes, neglect, and on and on. And many of them believe what I did, that God doesn't love everyone. That's, that's what you think when you grow up in a way that you're not meant to. it's unfortunate. It happens.
Ryan Henry: Right.
John Boyle: But don't you dare let anybody determine your destiny. God does. Don't give up, get up and fight. And, uh, you're no victim. You're a child of the most high God and remember it.
Ryan Henry: Amen. Hey man, that's so good. That's so good,
John, your story is amazing and so inspiring and I, I just pray that, um, for everybody listening, even people who have had similar upbringings that you have, can just find hope and realize that, with God, truly all things are possible.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
John Boyle: Thank you. It's been a pleasure. And, uh, I relish every opportunity to talk about the Lord and my story and what he's done for me.
I hope your listeners find value in that. my book can be found on amazon. com just type in John Boyle Appalachian kid. And, I have a website Appalachian kid.com. You can read some about me if you'd like.
Ryan Henry: Excellent. Great. That's great. Well, John, thanks again so much for being on. It's been amazing.
John Boyle: Thank you.
Margaret Ereneta: Thanks for listening to the show today. If you'd like to share it with your people, it's probably the best news they're going to hear today. To send us off. We found a special poem that we thought fit really well with John's story. Please enjoy.
Mo Thompson:
This is Mo Thompson reading “I Met the Master,” Author unknown.
I had walked life's way with an easy tread.
Had followed where comforts and pleasures led.
Until one day in a quiet place,
I met the master face-to-face.
With station and rank and wealth for my goal,
much thought for my body, but none for my soul.
I had entered the win in life's mad race.
When I had met the master face to face.
I had met him in new him. and blushed to see
that his eyes full of sorrow were fixed on me.
And I faltered and fell at his feet that day.
while my castles melted and vanished away.
Melted and vanished and in their place.
Not else. Did I see, but the masters face.
I cried aloud, "Oh, make me meet
To follow the steps of thy wounded feet."
My thought is now for the souls of man,
I have lost my life to find it again.
E'er since one day in a quiet place.
I met the master face-to-face.
