99: Straight to the Father, Lex Renick, Part 2

“I now pronounce you husband and husband” were the words spoken at Lex Renick’s wedding. Married as a trans man to a gay man, Lex was transformed through the love of Christ. Both she and her husband went Straight to the Father, living for the Lord with a traveling ministry to the misfit community, spreading a powerful message of love and hope.   

See how Lex seeks God’s heart and finds it, as well as the truth of scripture, the love of Jesus, and the freedom in her new identity with Christ. 

In this three part story, you'll see the slow but steady transformation of Lex and how God honors those who earnestly seek Him. And you'll never see the lost the same way again!

Part 2

See how Lex’s baby steps toward Jesus end with a church confrontation that sent her to more heartache, her marriage to Nick, her life as Austin, serving in the US Army, and her sweet date with Jesus as she attempts to repent of sin.

The Best Part, the song that played when Lex met Nick

Jesus, My Gender, and His Perfect Love, child's book by Lex Renick

Lex on Instagram

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Chapters

• 0:00 Lex's Transforming Testimony Continues
• 2:17 Church Rejection and Spiritual Pain
• 6:00 Military Service as Transgender Religious Specialist
• 9:33 Meeting Nick at the Coffee Shop
• 12:00 Dock Prayer and Divine Intervention
• 14:23 First Date and True Acceptance

Transcript

Announcement: 0:02

Welcome to One80, transforming testimonies from next door to across the globe. Be amazed at how God works to bring people to himself. Share today's One80 with a friend. It might be the best news they hear today.

Lex Renick: 0:17

God, if this is not okay, then I know that you have the power to change me. So, lord, please change me, change my mindset, Change my attraction, Lord.

Margaret Ereneta: 0:30

Thanks for coming back to Straight to the Father. The One80 of Lex Renick, part two. I'm Margaret Ereneta, your host. Today. We'll hear how Lex gets rejected at church but really tries to seek the Lord while living her broken, trans lifestyle and slowly you'll see God guide her to fullness in Jesus. It gets really good. Stay with us.

Lex Renick: 0:58

Do I believe that God wanted me to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus, absolutely. But I know that with this walk with Jesus, it was almost like the Lord was like do you trust me with this? Hey, you got some unforgiveness, let me work on that. Do you trust me with this? Now, let's work through that sexual trauma you got. You got this, now let's work on that. And it was like I was on this journey walking closer and closer to full, authentic surrender.

Lex Renick: 1:21

And so this pastor is like hey, I heard that you want to get more involved here. I'd love to hear more about your testimony, fast forward. I share that testimony and I leave out the part where I'm identifying as Austin, that I'm actually born female, that I'm living this transgender lifestyle as a transgender man. I leave that part out because at this point in my life I've been living my life as Austin no one knows and I didn't feel safe enough to share that yet with this pastor from all the other church hurt that I've experienced. And then all of a sudden he just starts laughing at me with the other pastor that's there and he's like I just think that it's funny that you didn't mention the fact that you were actually born a woman. I just think that it's funny that you didn't mention the fact this, this and this about me living that lifestyle. And he says I want you to know that you're no longer welcome here, that I've already outed you and told everyone the worship team all of that You're only allowed to come on Sundays because that's when non-believers are allowed to come. And I remember it was like I had this flame that you could almost see and I was so on fire for the Lord and it was literally like he just stepped on it and just smothered it with his shoe. And I just remember being so embarrassed, so heartbroken. I remember looking in at the young adult group and there was like garage doors at this church and you could see all of them looking like really confused.

Lex Renick: 2:40

And I remember walking to my car and I get in the car and I call my mom and at this point my mom and I you know she's drinking, and then she's sober. And I remember walking to my car and I get in the car and I call my mom and at this point my mom and I you know she's drinking, and then she's sober and I'm trying my best to forgive her and we're going back and forth and I just remember feeling so suicidal in that moment, knowing that God wanted me so bad and it was like I was hungry. And every time I got closer, people would get in the way and then I would start to believe the lies again and after every rejection like that moment, I fell back into a lot of sin. I was like you know what, if this is how the church is, then I don't want to be a part of it. And I remember being so angry if I'm being honest just literally saying the F word and cussing and just hitting my steering wheel and literally starting to plan how I wanted to kill myself that night. And then I could clearly hear the Holy Spirit say forgive them. They don't know what they're doing, they don't know what they're saying, forgive them. And I remember yelling at God when I hung up the phone with my mom, saying Lord, why would you want me to forgive him? You know everything that he just said. You know how he embarrassed me, god, why would you want me to forgive him? You know everything that he just said. You know how he embarrassed me. God, why would you want me to forgive him? I heard nothing. But I felt so deep in my spirit that, no matter how bad this pastor just cut me deep to forgive him and to know that, like God was still pursuing me and that God still wanted me.

Lex Renick: 4:01

And I remember reaching out to one of the church leaders letting them know what happened. And the enemy took this whole situation and just took it and ran with it. And I believe the lie that never even happened, because I was friends with the lead pastors in the church and I just remember thinking, oh, this must have came down from them and that's how they know and they don't really want me here anymore. And as I began to say that to one of the leaders, she's like I don't think that they know that he said that because the staff is not trained to speak to people like that. And so I reached out to the pastor's wife, told her the situation Needless to say, that pastor is no longer pastor at that church and I'll never forget her saying apologizing and how powerful it was for a spiritual leader at that church to say like I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

Lex Renick: 4:51

That's not how this church works. Obviously we believe and teach what the word of God says. But the way that he approached. That was not right. If you want to learn more about Jesus, then you should be going to the young adults group, you should be a part of these small groups. And I remember even telling her I know that the Lord is calling me and I remember her saying, yeah, but I know that that calling's not right now and it was. I normally don't even share this part of my testimony, but just the Lord's bringing that to my attention right now. I remember it hurting when she said that, but I had no idea what God was going to do. I had no idea the surrender that was going to happen, the miracles that I was going to see the more that I walked with the Lord.

Lex Renick: 5:30

And so at this point in my life, I graduate high school, I decide to join the military, I become the first ever openly serving transgender religious affairs specialist in the entire United States Army and that meant that I had a Buddhist chaplain, I had a Baptist chaplain and just a regular, non-denominational chaplain that I served under. And basically, with my MOS 56 Mike religious affairs specialist, and basically with my MOS 56 Mike religious affairs specialist, they are created to protect the chaplains, the men of God or the women of God in some belief systems to protect them, while they provide religious support to the soldiers either deployed or in the States, and they take an oath that thou shall not kill, so they don't bear any arms. So they created my job to bear arms to protect them while they could do their religious duties, and so within that, I was able to get training on suicide prevention. It really put my foot in the door of counseling people and speaking the word of God over them, and people are probably confused like wait, you're identifying as Austin and you are still pursuing Jesus and identifying as that.

Lex Renick: 6:34

Yes, just like anyone else struggling with any other sin that we give ourselves permission to do, like drinking, or like going out or doing drugs or having the sin of pride and ego, whatever it is. I somehow again believed that it was okay that I can continue to do this and identify as being a Christian. Nowadays, do I believe that you could be gay and be a Christian? I would say my answer would be no. You could say that you're a Christian that is struggling with same-sex attraction. You could say that you're a Christian that's struggling with gender identity, but there's something about when we claim that to who we are, that we're starting to say I'm going to choose this, which, for me, was my sexuality, my gender identity. I'm going to choose this, which, for me, was my sexuality, my gender identity. I'm going to choose this and I'm going to put this above God, and when you do that, you make it an idol. I was so delusional and so not even realizing that I was making my identity an idol, and so I kept pursuing Jesus and things were changing, my life was changing, but it was almost like I kind of got to like a halt in my faith and I thought that that was kind of normal. But no, god's like, okay, you surrendered all of that, but I'm ready for you to surrender, like literally everything. Now there's things that you're not revealing to me, and we cannot heal from what we don't reveal.

Lex Renick: 7:55

And so my husband and I we actually met in a small town coffee shop. My husband's name is Nick Renick. He grew up in a Lutheran church and grew up in a household that loved him. You know, despite his identity, he identified as being gay, but at first he never even knew what it meant, just because he grew up in a small town. And he was very talented and still is incredibly talented at acting and singing and all the arts. People started telling him well, that means that you're gay. And so he started saying, okay, well, I guess that's what it means. And then he Googled it on the internet and started attaching what people were saying over him to who he was and he started living that out. What people were saying over him to who he was, and he started living that out. So when I went to the army, he lived on Kauai. He was really deep into the new age and the Lord just told him to lay it all down, lay his idols down, the witchcraft down.

Margaret Ereneta: 8:50

You'll see this with Lex, but with Nic, here too, just baby steps out. God just leads them so gently but carefully out of their false identities and their false lives, and you can see that with Nic's story too. A little bit that we hear here in the show.

Lex Renick: 9:05

So I grew up in a small town. Well, my husband grew up in a small town in Big Bear Lake, california. We went to high school together, never talked to each other. I was in the army and came back to Big Bear and God just called him back home to walk away from the new age, to walk away from his lifestyle of what he was doing. And all of a sudden I go into this coffee shop Again. I'm identifying as Austin at this moment in my life and I'm just studying the word of God. Even at this time, living that stealth life, I was being mentored by a pastor that had no idea that I was actually born female and I was hungry for the word again, believing the lie that that God was okay with how I was living. And I'm in my word and I hear the back door open. Little do I know that the love of my life is going to walk in. And he plays a piano. He plays a song, best part and it's an R&B song. One of the lines in there says and those brown eyes are the ones that I desire.

Lex Renick: 9:59

And before this moment happened, before this Hallmark movie love story happened, I found myself fast forwarding. You know, I'm in my 20s now, like 23, 24, maybe and I fall on my face at a dock right a week before, I met my husband in this coffee shop and I just I would go to this dock all the time. I'd worship God there at my lunch breaks. It has this beautiful view of the lake. I would get into my word. I would just sit there and have dates with Jesus. And there was something different about this dock moment this time, like when I walked to the end. It was like I was going to leave something there, like if this dock could be an altar for the Lord.

Lex Renick: 10:36

It was in this moment and I walk at the end of the dock and I said, god, I know you now. I don't want to hear it from some guy, you know, like, pointing at me, telling me that I'm going to go to hell. Like God, I know you now. I know your heart, I know that you love me. Lord and God, I know that you have the power to do anything. So if this desire that I have because before my husband I only dated women, I only felt comfortable to be sexual and intimate with women I just said, lord, if this sexual attraction that I have towards women is not of your will, like the Bible says, like Christians are saying, god, if this is not okay, then I know that you have the power to change me. So, lord, please change me, change my mindset, change my attraction, Lord, that I could look at a man and be physically, emotionally, spiritually attracted to him.

Margaret Ereneta: 11:26

I want you to think about Lex sitting at the dock seeking the Lord with her Bible. She doesn't have her theology right, but her heart is in the right place. I want you to think about your friends who might be in the same boat and have compassion on them and pray for them. They're not as far away from the Lord as you might think and you might be a light to them, and so keep praying for them and keep listening to the show till the end, and maybe you can help guide them to the truth. Lex did come to the truth at the end. Praise God.

Lex Renick: 11:58

And I remember saying that and I'm pointing up and I'm crying because some people that may have not struggled with their sexuality or gender identity may not understand the magnitude of my prayer. But the magnitude of my prayer was basically, like God, if you're not, if you're not going to change me, I don't know. I don't know how to move forward and I was just desperate to make sure that I was living in God's will. And I remember praying that and just crying and pointing up at the sky and I said but God, you promised to wow me Like you promised to wow me, because that was one of the words that the Lord spoke over my life when I rededicated. I just heard the Lord say, through the Holy spirit, I'm going to wow you in your life. And so I said God, you said that you're going to wow me. Where's my wow?

Lex Renick: 12:38

A week later, my wow walked in through a coffee shop, my husband singing. Never been attracted to a man, the way that I've ever been attracted to my husband. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, lord, I am so sorry, I'm so attracted to this man right now. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on studying your word, but little did I know that it was a God assignment, like God had this plan for us to meet and to be together. So we we went on our first date there and I remember my dad telling me you need to tell him, like you need to tell him, that you're actually born female, because my person that I was interested at the time, my husband at the time didn't know that I was actually born female and he was identifying as gay. And I remember telling him being so scared, thinking like, well, he doesn't want to be with someone that's trans or to be with someone that's born female. And his response to me telling him on our very first date at that coffee shop he said oh, I'm not interested in any of that, I'm only interested in your heart. And it was this pure type of love that is such a representation of Christ, because he was the first person that never looked at me lustfully. He didn't desire to do anything like that, he desired to pursue me just as Christ pursues us with purity. And I remember when Nick said that over me, it was like all my walls went down. It was like I finally felt like I was home.

Lex Renick: 13:57

And recently, last year, him and I got a chance to speak at a Bible college in Kauai and I remember when I shared that the Lord spoke to me in that moment of speaking on that platform and the Lord told me that the reason why that was so impactful, that Nick said that to me, that he wanted to pursue me in purity, was because I could not receive the love that my husband could give unless I could first receive the love of the Father. And I was told this perverted version of the love of the Father and I was told this perverted version of the love of the Father from the world and from Christians living out their Christianity. And I had to rewire and walk with Jesus myself and experience him myself and be transformed by him myself before I could ever accept the love that he wanted to give me through a husband. And so my husband and I began a date. We fell in love so fast this is during COVID.

Lex Renick: 14:48

Three months we were engaged. Six months we went to Vegas and we got married, because when the Bible says, if you can't wait, get married. And we got married and our whole life, you know, shifted.

Margaret Ereneta: 15:00

Yes, there's more to this story. It just keeps getting better. It's such a hard place to stop. I'm sorry I left you at a cliffhanger, but come back for the end of Straight to the Father. The story of Lex Renick, part three next week. Promise it'll end next week.

Announcement: 15:17

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