One80: Testimonies of Transformation

103: Cigarettes and Stilettos, Tweeny Randall, Part 1 (Sikhism, marriage)

• OneWay Ministries • Season 4 • Episode 103

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What happens when the life you built on charm, control, and distraction collapses overnight? 

Tweeny Randall’s powerful One80 starts with her growing up in the Sikh culture in Brussels. We slowly hear how the brokenness felt in her family of origin gave root to an identity crisis that made itself known in attention seeking and substance abuse of her own.

As an adult Tweeny would continue this misguided lifestyle, but her world shattered with her mother’s illness. Alcohol came in and a stable marriage went out. In her utter depravity a caring friend’s request for help, an invitation to church, and a message from God directed right at Tweeny begins her journey to Jesus.

Part 1: Learn what Sikhism is and how young Tweeny’s life began to spiral in Brussels, Belgium. Hear how her life spiraled out of control and her invitation to get help from a Stephen Minister, to whom she proclaimed, “I’m not a Christian and I don’t intend to be one!” See how God had other plans and powerfully intervenes in her life. See how she powerfully comes to Jesus in church and the pastor who challenges her to read scripture.

This is an inspiring story for anyone in a troubled marriage, battling addiction, or otherwise seemingly far from God. Press play and be amazed at what God can do.

Helpful links:

Tweeny's Book, Nothing Broken, Nothing Missing

Stephen Ministers

Tweeny’s Blog

Lion and the Lamb song, Crystal Lewis

Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian

Alcoholism, where to get help:

Teen Challenge adults too

Celebrate Recovery

Focus on the Family addiction resources

Sundar Singh

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OneWay Ministries

Announcer:

Welcome to One80. Transforming testimonies from next door to across the globe. Be amazed at how God works to bring people to Himself. Share today's One80 with a friend. It might be the best news they hear today.

Tweeny Randall:

And she would put a spoon and she'd say, chew. I mean, this is how I handled my pain. I honestly do not know how I took care of my three children.

Margaret Ereneta:

Tweeny Randall was lost. The cigarettes and stilettos gal marched into a Stephen Minister with her world crashing around her, declaring, "I'm not a Christian and I don't plan on being one!" Well, God might have had a good laugh because that was the beginning of her total transformation. Welcome to Tweenies One80 Part 1. There is a lot here. Just warning you, it's so good.

Tweeny Randall:

So I was actually born in New Delhi, India. When I was 18 months old, we moved to Brussels, Belgium. Well, actually, we moved to Washington, DC first, and then to Brussels, Belgium. That's why English is my first language, because a lot of people wonder why I speak such good English, but it was my first language. And I grew up in an East Indian religion called Sikhism. And Sikhs believe in God. They believe there is a God and that all roads lead to God. So it's this God like up in the sky, but they don't have a name for him. In fact, the man that started Sikhism was a Hindu. He was born in a Hindu family, and his name was Guru Nanak, N-A-N-A-K.

Margaret Ereneta:

I love hearing about the different religions and groups and where God works to call his people, and so you'll get to learn about Sikhism.

Tweeny Randall:

And I grew up with like a 24 by 24 huge poster size picture of Guru Nanak. So a human being framed, you know, and that's who um we worshipped. And he was a man that grew up in a Hindu family and he didn't like what he saw, so he started like what I would call a philosophy of life. You know, love one another, be kind to one another, just basically a philosophy of life, and it became a religion. So I grew up in a very spiritual home. You know, in Belgium, there wasn't a temple. They met at different people's homes. And the service was basically this big poster size framed picture of Guru Nanak, and then their holy book that would be in front of this picture, and they would fan like a horse hair or almost something coming out of it over this book and recite things.

Tweeny Randall:

And everybody would have to take their shoes off, and there was tablecloths on the ground. You always took your shoes off, you always covered your head, and you sat down around this book and murmured prayers and listened to the priest that was leading. And then afterwards, there would be a delicious meal that was made by the hostess, and that was always my favorite part. My parents were very spiritual.

Tweeny Randall:

My mother had a uh prayer closet. I can still remember hearing her praying every morning and every night. But again, it was this picture of this, you know, guru Nanak. And I think there have been many gurus, you know. So A G-U-R-U means god. So guru, it means God. But the Sikhs, you know, they believed these men are anointed, and so they consider them like gods. There was a big gold bangle they would wear because the Sikhs were known to be warriors, and they would fight with this big bangle. They also had to always cover their heads. So my father always wore a turban. And uh if you see anyone with a turban, they are from the Sikh religion, and uh you're not supposed to cut your hair. That's the reason behind the turban, I believe.

Margaret Ereneta:

Here's some more fun facts about Sikhs. The Sikh faith started as far back as the 15th century, and in stark contrast to Hinduism, there are no classes. All Sikh men wear a turban to cover their hair. They don't cut their hair as a reflection of accepting God's will, they say. And they were way ahead of the hipster man bun curve, according to Sikh Raphendar Singh.

Margaret Ereneta:

All Sikhs do share that same last name, Singh. The men also carry a dagger to represent one of their five articles of faith, which is their duty to defend the helpless and fight injustice. And another thing about Sikhs is they don't smoke cigarettes. That's why you'll keep hearing that in Tweeny's story. To read another awesome former Sikh testimony, check out Sundar Singh. We will link him in the show notes.

Tweeny Randall:

That's what I mean by empty. Like I never felt safe or secure, but I do remember praying, you know, to the sky. I I do remember always praying, but there was never a feeling of security or foundation. I mean, I just prayed. It was, you know, that's a word that keeps coming to me right now, is that it just never felt secure. It just felt very loose end and wobbly, and just I just went with it because I didn't know any better. I had always heard the name of Jesus. But what we believed was that he was a good man that lived, a human being that lived. That was how I grew up. In fact, every Christmas, my parents they bought we had this fake white Christmas tree, and we all got gifts, but there was nothing at all mentioned about what we were actually celebrating. But it was Christmas. Never went to church growing up.

Tweeny Randall:

For me, I think the first time I might have gone to church was after I was uh engaged to my husband. He was Catholic at the time. I did not live out my faith. I just went to the events with my parents, they had them at their house, a religious event, but I never lived out my faith. My faith was not a priority at all. I never even thought about my faith, you know. And as you're gonna hear later, you know, I I just grew up very empty, you know, drinking, partying, and that's how I lived my life. I had no faith, basically. I grew up in a lot of confusion, you know. Uh on one hand, there was a lot of joy and warmth in my home.

Tweeny Randall:

My dad was a diplomat, and so he was very social. We had a lot of social events at our home, and they had a lot of friends, but it was also very, very dysfunctional because my dad was an alcoholic, and oftentimes he was violent with his drinking. And so after a violent evening at home, the next day nobody ever said anything. There was a lot of silence in the home. My mother was on her bed depressed, and no one said a thing. We just woke up and had our breakfast and went about our day.

Margaret Ereneta:

Now you'll start to see what happens with that fake, happy family cover-up that alcoholism did and the effect that it had on Tweeny's life.

Tweeny Randall:

So, you know, I grew up with just a lot of anxiety and fear and worry as a little girl. It would always be covered up with, you know, we traveled a lot growing up in Brussels, Belgium. We saw all of Europe, and my dad would get like two weeks off at a time, and we'd go on these beautiful vacations, and you know, he'd be sober and it would be a wonderful time. So lots of confusion. I saw my parents so in love and holding hands and just lovey-dovey, and then I saw my dad do terrible things to her. So I grew up just very confused.

Tweeny Randall:

I would say that I developed unhealthy relationships. I had two gods, and one was my mom and one was my husband. And in uh 1999, my world as I knew it just came crashing down. My mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, and in 1999 she she passed away, and her and I were very close. They had moved from Belgium like 10 minutes from our house, and I saw her every single day, and she was truly my best friend. And then at the same time, my marriage fell apart.

Margaret Ereneta:

Tweeny takes us back to junior high where she started to spiral into what became alcoholism.

Tweeny Randall:

Actually, before high school in junior high, when I was 12 or 13 years old, I began to smoke cigarettes and drink. In Belgium, there's a bar at every corner, and it was legal at the time to drink as long as you could reach the counter and order a drink. And so that's what everybody did. And so I uh began to drink at the age of 12 or 13, and that's all we did was party on weekends, you know.

Tweeny Randall:

We'd go to different bars, and um, you know, and for some people they can just maybe handle a beer or two or whatever, but for me, it was clearly a problem. And um, as I moved on to high school, it became worse. On top of that, I became extremely promiscuous, confusing sex with love and looking for love in all the wrong places. And uh, it just spiraled when I got to college, you know, uh the freedom that I had.

Tweeny Randall:

My life was completely out of control. All I was doing was partying all the time. I share that because then when my mother got sick, my drinking had become progressively worse. By the time she passed away, I was, I would say I was a full-fledged alcoholic myself, but I was a closet drinker.

Margaret Ereneta:

Tweeny goes on to talk about what a functional alcoholic is, and it gets worse for Tweeny. But hold on, it gets really good. Stay with us.

Tweeny Randall:

People imagine an alcoholic like rolling out of bed and grabbing a a drink, but it it's not always like that. I was what I would call a functional alcoholic, and you know, did my duties and stuff during the day, but at nighttime after the kids were bed. So by the time she passed away, it was really bad for me and I did not know how to handle my pain. And what I did was drink, smoke, and talk on the phone for hours on end.

Tweeny Randall:

Unfortunately, at the same time, my husband decided to leave me. He told me he didn't love me anymore and that he had found the love of his life. I discovered that he was having an affair and had been having an affair. So he left me, and it was very painful because all three kids, you know, watched him pack all his bags and leave, and he had no intentions of coming back. I mean, he took everything he owned. He took books off the bookshelf, he took every shoe. It wasn't like let me pack a few things and I'll be back. It was like I'm out of here. So after my husband moved out, I completely fell apart.

Tweeny Randall:

And on top of drinking, smoking, talking on the phone, I completely stopped eating. I went down to a size zero, which is uh absolutely not normal for someone my body frame, you know. And my doctor diagnosed me as malnutrition, and he said, if you don't start eating, I'm gonna have to admit you, Tweenie. God in his providence, you know, he had put a dear, dear neighbor right across the street from me, and she obviously knew what I was going through, and she would come over and literally spoon feed me, and she would put a spoon and I would just like that, and she'd say, chew.

Tweeny Randall:

I mean, this is how I handled my pain. My two gods had left me, my mother and my husband. My mother to death, my husband to his fantasy world. And I had no foundation, none. I honestly do not know how I took care of my three children. They were maybe seven, nine, and eleven. They're all two years apart. My husband was never a deadbeat dad. I mean, he always wanted to come see them and he always was in their life. In this time of crises, I remember crying out to the darkness.

Tweeny Randall:

It could have even been in a drunken stupor, honestly. Just like, if you exist, reveal yourself to me. Because I just felt like I didn't know who God was, you know. It is amazing how God had people planted in my life already. And there was a woman that I used to work out with, and of course I'd stopped going to the gym. I mean, I just really was devastated, just completely lost in my pain. And one day my doorbell rang, and there she was at my door. Well, I didn't know she was a born-again Christian. She had never told me that.

Tweeny Randall:

I just was always drawn to her. And she showed up at my door and she uh said, You know, Tweeny, where have you been? I haven't seen you. Well, she took one look at me. I mean, I was, you know, a size zero and probably could figure it out. And uh, so I invited her in and I told her everything that was going on. And she said to me, You need help. And I knew I needed help. I knew that if I didn't get help, I was literally going to die because I wasn't eating and I was drinking a lot of alcohol. And I looked at her and I said, I know I need help, but I don't know what to do. And she said, Well, my church has Stephen ministers.

Margaret Ereneta:

I need help, but I don't know what to do. Think about how many people might be in your life right now that are thinking that, waiting for you to reach out.

Tweeny Randall:

They're just people that are trained to help others in crises. And this is something we laugh about today, but I literally put my hands on my hips and I said, I'm not a Christian and I don't plan on being one. And she said the best thing because she said, You don't have to be a Christian, they'll still talk to you.

Tweeny Randall:

So then I took a sigh and I said, Okay, I can do this. So she connected me with a Stephen minister at a church that happened to be literally in my backyard. And I started meeting my Stephen minister, Sherry. I would say she was Jesus with flesh on, and she would always welcome me with so much love. People that know me only as a Christian, I know it's very hard for them to imagine me like that, but it's just the power of Christ, his transforming power. You know, I was just a very, very worldly person. Everything was about drinking and partying. That was where my joy was found. But I also found joy in the attention I would get from men because of how I dressed.

Tweeny Randall:

I wore stilettos, I wore tight clothes, I wore low-cut tops, because that gets the attention of most men. And that was just the emptiness, you know, that I was living with. I had no foundation. I found joy in, you know, when I was drunk, or if I was getting attention from men, or if if we were out at a bar or something, you know, flirting. I mean, it was just total worldliness, total emptiness. It's completely lost, you know. Just that's where I was finding fulfillment.

Tweeny Randall:

So the first Stephen Minister meeting was very painful for me. I was in a lot of pain. I was very, very broken. I had lost my mother just a year before, and my husband more recently. I think it was almost like a soothing balm for me to feel some hope that there was hope, even though I didn't want to accept that it was in a God called Jesus. There was something so comforting in my Stephen minister, Sherry's words, you know, when she would talk about Jesus and who he is and what he has to offer.

Tweeny Randall:

Even though my heart wasn't ready to receive him, there was something deep, deep in me that, like I said, it was like a healing balm on a very broken heart. And she would always open in prayers and close in prayers, and she'd talk about Jesus' love. And something started happening, like a stirring is the best way I can think of inside of me because I was so, so broken, you know. And she encouraged me to start coming to church there on Sundays. So I went very scared. I would take my three kids with me, and we'd sit up, you know, way up in the balcony last row. And I started to really resonate with the pastor, you know, at the time. It was Pastor Dale Hummel, and he would say, If you're hurting right now, I'd like you to stand up. So I would stand up and um then he would then he would say, if anyone near you is standing, put your hands on them. I would feel all these hands on me. I'd look down at my shirt, you know. I remember my shirt being like soaking wet with tears. But I guess the point I want to make is I had never experienced love like this. You know, like people laying hands on me and praying over me.

Tweeny Randall:

And then after service, they would come up to me and would ask me, you know, can I get your number? I'd like to call you and see how you're doing. And it was like I had never experienced love like this. But I was still really, really scared. And so I kept meeting with Sherry and my Stephen minister, and I kept going to church, but I just I think fear had a grip on me. I was just so scared to believe that Jesus was God because I had heard of Jesus all my life.

Margaret Ereneta:

So Tweeny is about to have a very powerful breakthrough where God does reveal who he is to some extent, and we will link this song in the show notes.

Tweeny Randall:

So it was one Sunday at church, Julie Smith was singing Lion and the Lamb, and they had a big, huge video screen, and I remember watching the screen and watching the nails going into Jesus', you know, wrists. And um, I had a supernatural experience that I know it had to be this way because God knows us so intimately, and because of my fear, I believe he knew what I needed. A lot like the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus, like the Lord had to blind him and let him hear his voice.

Tweeny Randall:

Well, that was very similar to my experience. It was um not blindness, but all of a sudden, there was like no one in the whole sanctuary, and there was a light coming from the video screen, a powerful light that came, and I heard a voice that said, I love you, Tweenie, and I died for you, not just for everyone in this room. And in that moment, I knew, like I knew that Jesus was God because only he could have seen my heart. And only he knew that that was the stuff I struggled with. I would go to church on Sundays and think, well, yeah, he loves everybody here. He died for everybody here because they're all Christians.

Tweeny Randall:

They all know him. But for me, it was very, very hard to believe that he loved me. That was a very personal thing. I always think of the Apostle Paul. Like I had to be hit on the head like that for him to get my attention, for him to prove to me that he is God. So I ran downstairs, was looking for Sherry. I knew, I knew I wanted to give my life to Christ, but you know, the devil is very real. And I found Sherry and I told her, I said, I know Jesus is God. She was very excited and she said, Oh, that's great. Let's say a prayer right now. Well, the minute she said, let's say a prayer right now, fear just gripped me. And I just panicked. And I said, Oh, no, no, not right now. I have to go get my kids.

Tweeny Randall:

And she said, Oh, they'll be okay. And I just kept making excuses. Well, God bless her, because she kept, well, what about tomorrow? Can I come over tomorrow? And oh, no, no, no, tomorrow I got to do this. You know, I just had a lot of fear. And then she somehow nailed me down to a date. I believe it was a Wednesday finally, and she came over and she was very good about explaining to me, you know, uh what I was about to commit to. So I would say, you know what, I I gave my life to Jesus Christ afraid, because even as I held her hand saying the sinner's prayer, I was petrified. I thought, what am I doing? I'm, you know, but I did it and I just did it afraid. And uh after we were done, of course, she was ecstatic and she says, I'll never forget this. She goes, Let's call Pastor Dale.

Tweeny Randall:

Well, I was like, why do we have to call Pastor Dale? This is gonna be a little secret I'm gonna keep. And she says, Oh, sweetie, he's been praying for you. He's gonna be so happy. I was so scared. I was like, what is she doing? Why do but you know, it was a really good thing to do. I mean, we need to shout it from the rooftop. I was just really riddled with fear. So we called Pastor Dale. Of course, he said a prayer with me. He was really elated and shared in our joy. After Sherry left my home, I can remember just being so scared. I remember thinking, what have I done? I've joined a cult.

Tweeny Randall:

I had heard about born-again Christians, and I always thought they were a cult. So I got really attacked by the enemy. I would say, you know, for a long time my life didn't change because the fear was bigger than anything. And although Sherry, you know, checked on me, I was still chasing after my husband, still trying to get him back, still drinking, still smoking. I was just spiraling. And I called Pastor Dale and I asked him if I could see him.

Tweeny Randall:

I just told him that I wasn't doing well. And he said to me, Are you reading your Bible, Tweenie? And you know what? That was something so simple, but no one had really asked me that question. And I said, No. And he said, Do you even have a Bible? And I did. I had one that my dear friend Jessica had given me. And so he said, I want to encourage you to start reading Psalms. And then he said, And I want you to join a Bible study. You need fellowship.

Margaret Ereneta:

Okay, I warned you this time. Come back next week for Tweeny's Total Transformation Part 2. Hear what happens when Tweeny opens her Bible, the sin she is able to throw off, the restoration that begins in her and those around her. All next week.

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